Teresa Brooks Life Coaching

Live your best life …


Have you noticed how many times people we know  discount a compliment?

Why do we find it uncomfortable to accept praise or find it difficult to believe that a compliment is sincere?

Do we assume this attitude to fit in with our peer group; not want to be thought of as especially capable or feel we don’t deserve to be noticed?

Perhaps there is something else driving the discounting.

The dictionary defines the word, deserve as,” to merit reward, punishment or esteem in return for action.”  And the word, worthy, as meaning, ” of adequate merit or character.” So it would appear that, we have to DO something to deserve a reward BUT we do not have to do anything to be worthy because we are, by definition, ” of adequate merit.” Whilst both words deal with merit, they are not interchangeable. I will concede that some things we do may add to our sense of worthiness but if the messages we receive about worthiness rely on performance then we are headed down a slippery slope. Unfortunately, we are often taught that we need to DO something to get the reward and then we will be worthy.  It does not come as a great surprise that many of us are unsure about the ‘worthiness gig’.

Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe about ourselves and life. When these beliefs are reinforced by negative experiences and constant repetition, they become the ‘drivers’ of our lives. We all have days when we struggle with perceptions of worthiness. How do we decide our  worth? Whose standards do we use to measure our progress? At these times, we may be overcome by the force of negative beliefs stored in our subconscious and we accuse ourselves of not being

  • loving enough
  • caring enough
  • cool enough
  • assertive enough
  • patient enough
  • slim enough
  • generous enough etc.

As a result, our worthiness receives a battering. How do we recover from this assault?

Advertising seduces us into believing that the new ‘you beaut’ product is certain to improve our worthiness.  The message is, YOU DESERVE IT. ‘It’ is going to make you happier, prettier, more attractive to the opposite sex etc. So if you do not partake of this product, then you will not become the ‘cool’ person you deserve to be. It would follow from this reasoning that our worthiness is regularly in doubt and we need to DO something about it, constantly! Most of us know that products (whilst fun and quite useful) are at best, a temporary fix because products can never target the source of the problem. The media has many reports of beautiful and accomplished people who appear to have everything but still feel insecure and unworthy. This suggests that worthiness is not related to what we have or can achieve but to who we are and our need to re establish our relationship with Divine Energy, chi or Life Force.

Consider the following quote from, Manuscript Found in Acra, by Paulo Coelho:

Beauty is present in all creation, but the dangerous fact is that, because we human beings are often cut off from the Divine Energy, we allow ourselves to be influenced by what other people think. We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us. We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and little by little our soul fades, our will weakens and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away. All because someone said, ” you are ugly” or ” she is pretty.” Those three simple words stole away all our self confidence.

How do we re-establish this important connection?

Firstly, accept that we have some worthiness just because we are alive.

Secondly, connect with this part of you by regularly finding  some quiet time to be awed by that spark of uniqueness that is present in each and every one of us. It is a soul attribute. The fact that we all posses a measure of uniqueness makes us worthy.

Thirdly, remember that it is not so much what we DO but WHO WE ARE that is the foundation of worthiness and it is from the stand point of humility that we can appreciate this power and translate it to enhance our well being to enrich our lives. The more we appreciate the worthiness we have, the more we can rely on this aspect of ourselves.

To humbly accept and appreciate our own worthiness is a weirdly, peaceful and joyful sensation which I recommend to you all. The power of our worthiness is phenomenal. Imagine a world filled with people who are in touch with their worthiness. WOW!

Be kind to yourself

Quote source: Manuscript Found in Acra by Paulo Coelho.

Paulo Coelho has written many novels dealing with our connection to the Life Force and how this translates to a myriad of situations. Check him out.




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